Monday, August 30, 2010
A Change of Plans
I had a plan for today, Monday, the beginning of a new week, the semi-official end of summer. Walt starts with kids on Wednesday, had to be in his classroom today. So I was going to start my new schedule. Today.
I spent much of last week getting ready. My desk is organized, my piles sorted and put away. Friends have been visited, my calendar cleared, days carefully laid out for the next four months. Walt and I had one last perfect and delicious day at the beach. The collage of themes that will be the focus of my book is done and ready to be hung.
Nothing was going to get in the way of today's new beginning.
Except I slept later than I planned, because I couldn't get to sleep last night. I didn't want to be busy at my computer while Walt left for work. The floors needed sweeping. The cats needed petting. Toby needed to play. There was laundry, and the litter box, and dinner to be planned and shopped for. Returned phone calls that couldn't wait. And as I was putting Walt's clean hankies away I found myself sorting and tossing until the drawer was more organized than it's been in maybe forever.
I have a list of tasks to accomplish - starting the rewrite of my book, advertising fall online memoir classes, reading student pages are at the top. Cleaning hankie drawers is nowhere on the list. I have a daily schedule set for myself where writing gets my primary energy in the morning and everything else waits until afternoon. I answered e-mails this morning, which is exactly not what I was going to do on this new schedule. I have the next four months free and clear to focus on my book and teaching. After that I need to add a job of some sort to the mix.
Four months. Such a huge gift in so many ways, and such a short amount of time, really. I've held the possibility of that time in eager anticipation for weeks now. "As soon as Walt goes back to school," has been my mantra.
In fairness to myself, I did anticipate a time of transition this week. What I wasn't counting on, and perhaps should have, was the siren song of busy-ness. My floors need mopping. The linen closet could use an airing and organizing. And all those books I didn't get to this summer need to be restacked in order of need-to-read. See?
Perhaps if I adjust my plans for a start date of September 1, the day many schools begin in this area, the first day of a new month - perhaps with one more day to get the busies out of my system - perhaps then I'll be ready to start this second year of my new life in the way I have planned.
For now, Toby and I are headed to the river. Where I'll breathe, and pray, and let go.