"It's as if a great bird lives inside the stone of our days and since no sculptor can free it, it has to wait for the elements to wear us down, till it is free to fly." Mark Nepo

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

First Day

I stood on the patio this morning breathing in the pre-dawn air while Toby ran pell-mell around the yard. A faint blush was just beginning to tint the tulle fog hugging the field beyond. One single robin chirped the arrival of a new day into the cloud-free sky.

Walt had just left for work. When I hugged and kissed him goodbye, I thanked him for making this day possible. The first day of school. His thirty-second. It would have been my twenty-third. Would have been.

I tucked that early-morning moment into the special memory place where all my other significant times live. Because when Walt's pickup left the driveway, I had the choice to do anything I wanted. I could even have gone back to bed.

I'm not at school, talking myself hoarse. I'm not having to tell my bladder to wait. I'm not wondering how an entire summer's worth of energy can be depleted in less than a day.

I'm also not getting belly-crushing hugs from last year's kids, or wearing a bright new first-day-of-school dress, or laughing with my friends. I didn't get to start the next best read-aloud book, or introduce a new group of kids to the joys of silent ball, or hear their summer stories.

Instead, I've been home all day long.

I played with Toby, solved a New York Times Saturday crossword with my last cup of coffee, and hung some laundry on the line. I was at my computer by 8:00. Lunch was fruit and cheese on the patio, with my latest O Magazine, more play time with Toby, and no concern about the time. My bladder is happy.

After way too many revisions and more fussing than a kindergarten mom sending her baby to school for the first time, I finally sent out my first query letter. Just one today. It's time to go to yoga now.

Tomorrow, on the second day of my new career, I'll send more.

I'm here. I'm really here. This is really and truly happening. I'm a full-time writer.

picture from Flickr


Janna Qualman said...

I'm so filled with joy for you! What a day.

I just love your phrases and flow, Deb. Your written voice speaks to mine.

Janna Qualman said...

PS. Have fun at yoga, and keep us posted on that query! Go you.

kario said...

I have goosebumps, Deb! I am so excited for you and I hope that Walt comes home tired and happy from his first day and can't wait to share in yours, too.


Jessica said...

Yay, yay, yay!!!!

Congrats on sending out that letter. :-) I'm so excited to see what happens for you. I'll bet Toby (eek, is that his name?) is glad you're home. LOL

Pam said...

Deb I can't begin to tell you how happy I am for you!!!

Angie Ledbetter said...

Why'd ya wanna ruin a perfectly good day with hot yoga? :)

Congrats on hitting send!

Carrie Wilson Link said...

You just described bliss! So proud of you for LEAPING!

The Unbreakable Child said...

Awesome, deb!!! Way to go on the query! x0

Midlife Jobhunter said...

That first one is the most difficult. Now, send more.

Congrats on your day. I'm impressed with what you got done before 8am. I so wish I were an early person.

Trulyana said...

Wow, that is amazing! Glad to hear you are enjoying this very moment, and all the very best to you in your writing career.

Jerri said...

Happy, happy.

Joy, joy.

FrecklesandDeb said...

Yea! The first query! It's the hardest. Now you're really on your way!

Genuine Italian Red Leather (G.I.R.L.) said...

I'm happy, sad, scared, giddy, bored, hopeful, lost, full, empty, joyous, grieving, confused, lost, and found with/for/around you.

love you,


patricia said...

There is something to be said for a happy bladder. You are a teacher and a writer. You are teaching now through writing. You will still get hugs. You will still laugh with friends. I'll make sure of it. :o)

Amber said...

WHOOP! Sounds wonderful. Yay! We will be here, cheering.


Kathryn Magendie said...

Oh! you sent out a query! *nail biting time* -- I am sending good wishes and luck and hope and all good things on the wind!

ANd here's to happy bladders *laughing*

She said...

I'm so jealous (or is envious the right word?). I cried all week long about going back to school! I am being forced to teach classes I don't want to teach, and I've never felt more disrespected or as much dread about returning to school!

Sobbed all week long!

Soooooooooooooo happy for you. I'm so excited about your journey and can't wait for each new opportunity that comes your way!

Go Mama said...

Sounds like an auspicious and happy time for you. Congratulations!