"It's as if a great bird lives inside the stone of our days and since no sculptor can free it, it has to wait for the elements to wear us down, till it is free to fly." Mark Nepo

Thursday, April 23, 2009

In the Balance


Walking away from the river with Toby this afternoon I became aware of a certain quality of light that made everything around us glow. When I looked up to see what was going on, the first thing I noticed was how vivid the new greens seemed. The second thing I noticed was the sky. 

It was split almost perfectly in half. One side blacker than the end of love. The other side full of story book clouds glued to the best blue an imagination might create.

I'd been pondering my day. 

I spent the morning at a doctor's office for a consult for a procedure that every responsible adult with health insurance is expected to have when they turn fifty. It's no accident I'm seven years beyond that time. I'm terrified of anything medical. This is my year to overcome that fear and to reconnect with my body. However, overcoming and extinguishing are not quite the same thing.

I rewarded myself with lunch with a fairly new friend. A wise and wild and wonderful woman whose friendship is a measure of my healing and my ability to be the friend in return of such a person. Three hours of nonstop talking left me feeling light and happy and full of power.

As I watched the sky later, yin and yang without the curls, I saw with such beautiful clarity that it's only in witnessing the presence of darkness that light reaches its full glory. Darkness cannot be healed or wished or prayed away. It is. Light cannot be full enjoyed without the contrast darkness provides. 

For a moment, in that field, I stood in perfect balance. And that's when I noticed the third thing. At the demarcation of light and dark, a rhododendron bush in full bloom. The red blossoms throbbing with a lusty light that was the perfect child of life and death, love and loss, joy and fear.



photos from Flickr

14 comments:

deb said...

Lovely and thank you for reminding me.

Carrie Wilson Link said...

"One side blacker than the end of love."

Wow.

Gorgeous post. Gorgeous YOU!

Angie Ledbetter said...

Like Carrie, this jumped out at me from among many poetic/lyrical lines:

It was split almost perfectly in half. One side blacker than the end of love.

Glad you stood in that contrast and saw it for what it was...and then shared it with us. Your writing is sublime and will surely find a wider audience soon. Glad I was here early.

Angie Ledbetter said...

PS If you don't mind, I think I shall refer Sunday readers here to enjoy the beauty of your words, k? :)

Jerri said...

Simply a pleasure to read. Always. You are amazing, my friend.

Literary Nut said...

Very beautiful!

Janna Qualman said...

Hiya, Deb, I'm here from Angie's blog.

Beautiful picture on this post, and even more beautiful words accompany it. Love your wise thoughts. Thanks for sharing them.

Sandra Leigh said...

I'm glad Angie sent me here. Your imagery is wonderful, Deb.

The Things We Carried said...

Lovely way of seeing! Glad Angie sent me over!

Jessica said...

Wow. That was beautiful!

Hilary said...

Very beautifully illustrated with words and images. Thanks to Angie fo sending me here.

Kathryn Magendie said...

My favorite line: "One side blacker than the end of love."


Breathtaking writing....

She said...

See! Your writing is awesome. Love all the new feedback!

And yes, "one side blacker than the end of love" is WOW writing!

Beautiful post!

Nancy said...

Breathtaking post! You paint with your words.